The End of an Era
In the recent past I have shared about my go- around with guilt, comparison, and even contentment. In how in either eliminating them completely or implementing them in contentment’s case, I feel like a more whole hearted person in general. That is true, but I have also recently toyed with more than just contentment but finding out who I truly am in the process. Each of those posts have revealed the elimination and growing process that perhaps started six years ago with this blog space but even more recent since my youngest daughter’s birth. I’m simply putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper so to speak, and painting a mental picture of me scrapping what’s been on the surface in order to reveal the precious metal (who I am) that’s been there all along. How many of us after all can relate to that? Angel Chernoff said what I am about to share and it rocked me to my core. I’ve said it before, but anytime something important is on my heart, I come across someone mirroring what I am feeling. It’s in reading words like Angel’s that confirms what I must do. Here is an insert from her recent email,
“You have to admit, to a certain extent, you have spent too much of your life trying to shrink yourself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less you. Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to be too much or push people away. You want to fit in. You wanted people to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be wanted so you could feel healed. So for years, you sacrificed yourself for the sake of making other people happy and for years you’ve suffered.
It’s not your job to change who you are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. You are worthwhile. Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air, and therefore you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. And with or without anyone’s approval or permission, you must be who you are and love your truth. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. You may have been broken down by adversity, but YOU are not BROKEN. So don’t let others (or your own mind) convince you otherwise.”
I vow right here and right now to spend the rest of my life fighting for what matters- to me. You don’t have to share the same people pleasing gene as I do to make this same change. We are all guilty of letting other’s reactions or lack of actions dictate who we should be instead of what feels right. Instead of who we really are. I know I have and for most of my life! Had it not been for some tough conversations and then the ones that followed within my own mind, I would have carried on sacrificing myself. Turns out, my breakdown turned out to really be my breakthrough!
-Onward,
Sara
“You have to admit, to a certain extent, you have spent too much of your life trying to shrink yourself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less you. Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to be too much or push people away. You want to fit in. You wanted people to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be wanted so you could feel healed. So for years, you sacrificed yourself for the sake of making other people happy and for years you’ve suffered.
It’s not your job to change who you are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. You are worthwhile. Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air, and therefore you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. And with or without anyone’s approval or permission, you must be who you are and love your truth. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. You may have been broken down by adversity, but YOU are not BROKEN. So don’t let others (or your own mind) convince you otherwise.”
I vow right here and right now to spend the rest of my life fighting for what matters- to me. You don’t have to share the same people pleasing gene as I do to make this same change. We are all guilty of letting other’s reactions or lack of actions dictate who we should be instead of what feels right. Instead of who we really are. I know I have and for most of my life! Had it not been for some tough conversations and then the ones that followed within my own mind, I would have carried on sacrificing myself. Turns out, my breakdown turned out to really be my breakthrough!
-Onward,
Sara
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