Seeking Mom Friends

When I first had my daughter six years ago, I had no idea that mastering feeding and making other mom friends would go hand in hand. What’s funny, but maybe not so funny, is that I struggled with both. Turns out my boobs are broken and so is my ability to make lasting friendships with other moms. It took a bit of time, but I learned to forgive myself and that formula would just be apart of our  journey. It taught me compassion in the process, and perhaps in some twisted way, prepared me for what my adult friendships would look like: not easy. And not how I originally thought it would go. I figured in admitting this, that it would put me in the driver’s seat for a bit. Or better yet, call others out of the woodwork.

I’ll just come out and say it, but making mom friends feels an awful lot like high school or dating. Neither of which I’m in the mood for. There I said it! When I walk into a room with other moms, like school pick up for example, it’s as if they all already know each other or no one talks- period. I don’t about you, but I’ve always loved standing in a room of awkward silence and judgement. When I am in those types of situations, I’m always left feeling like I must of wore two different earrings again, that I’m an alien, or wondering if suddenly English isn’t the primary language. But if there’s one thing my breastfeeding experience has taught me is that I refuse to put myself down and mark myself as not good enough. I just haven’t found my people yet. It’s a daily struggle sometimes to remind myself of that one, but I’m remembering too that being alone now won’t last forever. I’m convinced that I’m just in the process of becoming, one small conversation at a time. That everything I am going through as a mother now will only help me connect with another mom in the future. My person. I’m realizing that perhaps school pick up or the park isn’t my place at the moment, but as I find new places to coexist, I’m in the possibly of finding that community I am longing for. That in searching for a real mom friendship in the sea of parenthood, I’m weeding out all of the wrong ones and befriending that one dad in the process.