Modesty Check
Perhaps in giving up alcohol this year, I in a way am also giving up other fixes. I have discovered that even things like modesty can be a fix, or a crutch, or a bush that I have been hiding behind. In reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle, her words about modesty hit me square in the eyes. I realized in reading them that perhaps alcohol has never been a problem for me, but putting myself down has been and that I should of really given up that first. She says, "Every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from other women to exist fully. Don't mistake modesty for humility. Modesty is a giggly lie. An act. A mask. A fake game. We have no time for it."
The other women she is speaking of starts in my own living room; and I cant think of a better reason to give up being modest at the expense of myself other than for my own daughters- women in training. When I read what Glennon is so beautifully calling out, I cringe at the thought of all the times I missed an opportunity to encourage but instead victimized myself. My hard earned accomplishments. I have been down playing my successes probably since I could say thank you without being told first. My worst offense though wasn't too long ago, when in offering marriage advice, I completely botched my own marriage in hopes of not coming across like I knew it all or that my husband and I were better than. But what I missed in putting our own marriage down was the ability to show these newlyweds what hard work and showing up for a relationship looked like. Especially overcoming the deep trenches of trials and tribulations- where the growth happens. I know I was meaning to come off like an example then, but instead I left the impression that it was really the beginning of a game of "marriage comparison."
Glennon ends her chapter in saying that, "I've never pretended to be stronger than I am, so I'm sure as hell not going to pretend I'm weaker than I am."
Yeah for myself mostly, I'm not going to either.
The other women she is speaking of starts in my own living room; and I cant think of a better reason to give up being modest at the expense of myself other than for my own daughters- women in training. When I read what Glennon is so beautifully calling out, I cringe at the thought of all the times I missed an opportunity to encourage but instead victimized myself. My hard earned accomplishments. I have been down playing my successes probably since I could say thank you without being told first. My worst offense though wasn't too long ago, when in offering marriage advice, I completely botched my own marriage in hopes of not coming across like I knew it all or that my husband and I were better than. But what I missed in putting our own marriage down was the ability to show these newlyweds what hard work and showing up for a relationship looked like. Especially overcoming the deep trenches of trials and tribulations- where the growth happens. I know I was meaning to come off like an example then, but instead I left the impression that it was really the beginning of a game of "marriage comparison."
Glennon ends her chapter in saying that, "I've never pretended to be stronger than I am, so I'm sure as hell not going to pretend I'm weaker than I am."
Yeah for myself mostly, I'm not going to either.
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