Ten Years

 It’s hard to believe we are celebrating our tenth anniversary this early November already! In many ways I’ve blinked and here we are and in other ways we’ve earned this milestone for all of the life we have been through thus far. 

I’ve thought of many ways to begin this post, and forgive me if this gets too long or perhaps too sappy. Like all anniversaries or love stuff you may even roll your eyes-

I can’t speak as to why some marriages don’t work, but I can say why ours has. It isn’t because of the house we built or the cars we drive. It isn’t even because of the special gifts or flowers he gives me. It isn’t because he picks up his underwear or that he lends both hands in daily with chores and kids. Sure those things are all important. Rather it’s because of who he is and that he loves me. I know, I know, that sounds like a typical cliché answer. But what I mean is that he isn’t the same person; he’s grown, apologized, cared, communicated, encouraged, listened and most of all continued to choose me and vice versa.

It’s easy to choose each other when everything is and feels great, but in the thick of intense grief, that’s where it absolutely matters. I used to think something was wrong with us in those dark moments, but now I realize that it’s made us. We’re better because of all the really hard stuff. Losing a baby, parent, cancer, and friendship just to give some context  as to which hard I’m referring to. Many of those things were right out of the gate. Leaving us with only each other to heal in the ways that only scars can.

And because I’m not convinced I’m doing a very good job at putting what I wanted to say into words here, I’ll borrow from the best of them: Brene Brown, 

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection. 

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them- we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”

He’s loved me through it all and more importantly led me back to wholeheartedly loving myself. I’m forever grateful! 

Happy Anniversary to my oldie but goodie, my partner and best friend. I’ll continue to keep doing the good, the bad, and simply put, this life with you-

Sara