Partners in Crime

In Carry On, Warrior  Glennon Doyle talks about how God sends us partners who are most likely to help us heal. Like her, I know in my own experience this has remained true. Take yesterday for example, I was painting my daughter's bed. This project went so great if you count dropping the freakin' paint can. There was so much blush pink paint on the dark grey carpet that I fell apart and didn't know where to even begin cleaning it up. I just started sobbing and looking down at the mess I had created. Maybe it was from the pure exhaustion of painting, but probably more like the way I usually handle hard things, by crying about it. I'm pretty sure when I met my husband that I was in a similar state after coming out of a very toxic and complicated relationship. Even then, he has this way with just quietly coming in and helping me clean up or pick up the pieces, and by mostly just being there and loving me as a hot mess. He is still the only person besides my mom that can handle me at my very worst. Note: He doesn't point out that I am crying hysterically for even the little things (or big things-like a lot of paint on carpet).

But the thing is, my mom has to love me- he chooses to. And each time he does, he is in a way helping me heal by allowing me to just be un-glued, while the rest of the world has only time for me when I'm at my best.