With a Heavy Heart
Wasn't it just Saturday that we were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary? Wasn't it just this morning that my only concern was when will Ava be here? Wasn't it just, okay I could continue to ask myself that forever...
Today we got the news that my mother in-law has some newly formed spots in her neck and would be making that dreaded phone call to hospice care. To be honest, I should already know what this kind of news feels like. Last April she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and we have been trying to beat her odds ever since. She was given a year to live with treatment during the most challenging time in our marriage. After losing a baby and then having to face losing a mother too within a few weeks of each other, it felt as if we were apart of some cruel game and losing badly. I have to be fair and give the Lord the credit when I say that He not only carried us through that time, but has kept Sharon strong enough to still be here when Ava is born- the greatest gift. But with that I cant help but confess that I am with a heavy heart. Greeting a new life but losing another one leaves me feeling empty. I know that I need to enjoy whatever time we have left with her, but I grieve for the lost memories and milestones already. I grieve for my husband who will be without his mother, and for Ava who will not remember her grandmother on her own but from pictures and shared stories. It just doesn't seem fair-
I can only ask now for prayer. Prayers for my family through what these next months will bring. Prayers that my mother will seek the Lord's hands to carry her through this right until the end. That she would truly understand His glory and love.
Today we got the news that my mother in-law has some newly formed spots in her neck and would be making that dreaded phone call to hospice care. To be honest, I should already know what this kind of news feels like. Last April she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and we have been trying to beat her odds ever since. She was given a year to live with treatment during the most challenging time in our marriage. After losing a baby and then having to face losing a mother too within a few weeks of each other, it felt as if we were apart of some cruel game and losing badly. I have to be fair and give the Lord the credit when I say that He not only carried us through that time, but has kept Sharon strong enough to still be here when Ava is born- the greatest gift. But with that I cant help but confess that I am with a heavy heart. Greeting a new life but losing another one leaves me feeling empty. I know that I need to enjoy whatever time we have left with her, but I grieve for the lost memories and milestones already. I grieve for my husband who will be without his mother, and for Ava who will not remember her grandmother on her own but from pictures and shared stories. It just doesn't seem fair-
I can only ask now for prayer. Prayers for my family through what these next months will bring. Prayers that my mother will seek the Lord's hands to carry her through this right until the end. That she would truly understand His glory and love.
Comments
Post a Comment