Plan B
While I still find myself in a fog most days, I have started to brace life again. Many say that time heals all wounds. While I find that to be true in most cases and even in my own, I have found comfort and even healing in another way. I should not be surprised by now in the ways that God has placed people in my life. My marriage is one of the best examples of God's handy work at its finest. I almost chuckle at myself for thinking that He would stop there, and I should have known that even in my darkest hour-there would be light.
I really need to start explaining what I mean before I officially lose you. I can start by referring back to one of my last posts about feeling the world's weight on my shoulders. As if losing a baby wasn't dramatic and heartbreaking enough, my husband and I have faced the death of my grandmother and the diagnosis of stage four lung cancer for Adam's mom within the same month. To be completely honest, I truly wondered what I did to deserve all of this. I have always hated feeling sorry for myself, but I was suddenly faced with one of the darkest times in my life and I couldn't handle it. Too much bad had happened to us in such a short time, I couldn't help but ask where was God in all of this?
I should have known that the Lord would give me an answer to that very powerful, accusing Him of abandoning me, question. Maybe to your surprise I was reminded of His love by words and not in any other fashion. Adam's co-worker gave me a book called Plan B written by Pete Wilson. I was quickly reminded on God's love within a few pages in. I highly recommend this book, and as much as I would like to share every chapter, I will share with you just one.
Chapter 9-Me Too, Pete talks about struggling with the Plan B circumstance, well in my case circumstances, of our life and needing the gift of a community- or someone who understands, the me too. He brings up the book of Ruth from the Bible and the story of Naomi. If you are unfamiliar with the Bible or even just the book of Ruth, just know that what I have been going through just barely touches what Naomi experienced in her own life. Like me, Naomi experiences death but unlike me, she was striped of everything- her wealth and home and her husband and sons. Naomi questions God's presence but just when she wants to give up, He puts Ruth in her life. Pete talks in this chapter about the importance of a community and describes what Philip Yancey says "that God's presence often comes as a by-product of other people's presence." Pete goes on to say that in his own experience "many moments in the midst of Plan B's where God's presence was most evident by the community He had placed around me."
I realized through reading this book and especially through this chapter, that I could try to mask my own pain and feel sorry for what I was going through or let the people in my life that God had placed there- help me to heal. It is a continued process, and I still have my moments of doubt, but I am on the right track.
I really need to start explaining what I mean before I officially lose you. I can start by referring back to one of my last posts about feeling the world's weight on my shoulders. As if losing a baby wasn't dramatic and heartbreaking enough, my husband and I have faced the death of my grandmother and the diagnosis of stage four lung cancer for Adam's mom within the same month. To be completely honest, I truly wondered what I did to deserve all of this. I have always hated feeling sorry for myself, but I was suddenly faced with one of the darkest times in my life and I couldn't handle it. Too much bad had happened to us in such a short time, I couldn't help but ask where was God in all of this?
I should have known that the Lord would give me an answer to that very powerful, accusing Him of abandoning me, question. Maybe to your surprise I was reminded of His love by words and not in any other fashion. Adam's co-worker gave me a book called Plan B written by Pete Wilson. I was quickly reminded on God's love within a few pages in. I highly recommend this book, and as much as I would like to share every chapter, I will share with you just one.
Chapter 9-Me Too, Pete talks about struggling with the Plan B circumstance, well in my case circumstances, of our life and needing the gift of a community- or someone who understands, the me too. He brings up the book of Ruth from the Bible and the story of Naomi. If you are unfamiliar with the Bible or even just the book of Ruth, just know that what I have been going through just barely touches what Naomi experienced in her own life. Like me, Naomi experiences death but unlike me, she was striped of everything- her wealth and home and her husband and sons. Naomi questions God's presence but just when she wants to give up, He puts Ruth in her life. Pete talks in this chapter about the importance of a community and describes what Philip Yancey says "that God's presence often comes as a by-product of other people's presence." Pete goes on to say that in his own experience "many moments in the midst of Plan B's where God's presence was most evident by the community He had placed around me."
I realized through reading this book and especially through this chapter, that I could try to mask my own pain and feel sorry for what I was going through or let the people in my life that God had placed there- help me to heal. It is a continued process, and I still have my moments of doubt, but I am on the right track.
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